oh god the rape fog is back!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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