I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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