glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
