oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just puked most of my soul out..
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