Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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