so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
