she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Couch. On fire.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
