I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize