I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
