Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
