woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
