Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I need a beard to bite.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
