It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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