yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
