You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
