i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
