I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
