and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
