is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
