we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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