1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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