I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
