it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
