...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
