Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize