you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
