So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
