Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
