True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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