and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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