you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
