you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
