In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
