Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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