Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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