I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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