We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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