my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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