Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
