Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
