I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
