No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
