I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
