Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
