guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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