It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
