No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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