Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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