He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
