We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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