basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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