I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
