How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
