i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
