A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize