That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize