Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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