Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
