Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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