the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
