Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
