Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
