What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
