I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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