I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
