Dual....:-)
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
