morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize