I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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