so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
