i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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