Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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