Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
