yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
