considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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