i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
